Some of the free world watched in horror, some in know-it-all amazement at the dethroning of popular relationship expert Derrick Jackson. I will freely admit it came as a dull and numbing shock to me that the same man that decoded so many male mysteries and fallacies was doing the very thing that he claimed to abhor and despise. I watched and shared several of his videos on the male psyche and behaviors, especially if he gave chronological steps on leaving a toxic male type alone. Imagine my initial denial and dismay when it was discovered that he stepped out on his wife of several years. Then he had the audacity to make light of his mistakes with not one, but several beautiful ladies. Smugly and jokingly told his wife to “blink twice if in distress”. Really, D? That’s what you decide to do?!
And the video.. that painful, seemingly over rehearsed sketch with the costar as the plain Jane, sold out for Christ, all forgiving wife, was a bit much for me. I too got “Ike and Tina” vibes as it seemed that he sat at her side coaching her into what she needed to say next.
“This cake is good, Anna Mae”…
I mean, but how good is it really?
Why is it that when it comes to giving advice, we can’t seem to follow it? We can tell someone all day long what they should or should not do, but when we’re up at bat, we don’t take our own sensible advice. Then we attempt to mask or justify why we took an alternative approach. As an influencer, and someone that likes to encourage other women, I can easily tell them what they shouldn’t do because I’d either been there before, or lived through the consequences another time. But as a viable human, with these feelings and situations, it isn’t always easy or feasible to “do the right thing”. Our fickle emotions may cause us to seek temporary gratification from someone that we shouldn’t. We fall, doesn’t mean we have to stay there. It’s a mistake the first time. It’s a conscious choice afterwards.
I’m not necessarily saying that Derrick should be granted a pardon for his transgressions. But I am saying that we have all fallen, and know what it feels like to mess up. We sometimes want better for others and encourage them to do something that we know we couldn’t. It is a possibility that he was just trying to get others to do what he was already failing at – living and walking in his truth. I absolutely overstand why there is so much heartburn with this situation as he has made his living off of catering to women about love or the lack thereof. I feel that there are times when he was sincerely helping and times that he simply fell short. We must not continuously relive and re-implicate the man for his issues. We need to instead take a closer look at ourselves and decide what we need to do to better our own lives.
“That’s just my thoughts. Let me know what you think in the comments. Peace.”
Let Me Know What You Think.. Peace!
